We all got’em, but what do they mean, if they have a meaning at all? Do dreams drive our lives? Do they tell the future, or are they just a mixed up jumble of gunk running around in our subconscious mind? I’m no expert and I’m not going to try to give any meaning of things, but just give some of those thoughts that cross my mind, and I’m guessing there are others who have thoughts on this subject as well.
There was a dream, rather a nightmare I had as a kid, several times and I still remember it today, and yet I have no idea why I had the dream or where it ever came from or why. There was this trailer house, long and narrow. On the side I was looking at, there were two doors, each about five feet or so from the ends. I’d enter the left hand door and go down stairs. It was a basement, dark, damp and cold. My heart would begin to race and I’d get very anxious. I had to go through the basement to get out because after I entered the door, it would disappear. There was something in the basement, something large and was going to get me. I never made it out as I always woke up, heart racing and head wet with sweat. I remember having this dream several times. After the first time, in my dream I’d remember being there, but always had to enter the house, even when I knew I didn’t want to, and I knew I’d be scared speechless when I did, but forward I went every time I started the dream. And why, I never came to a place like that in my life (so far).
But mostly my dreams have been some jumbled up stupid stuff I for the most part don’t remember. Many times right after I woke up I’d remember some dreams for a very short time, but then after an hour or so if I tried to remember them I couldn’t. But then came a point in my life when dreams changed, and they changed my life.
After I moved to Denmark I found myself having many dreams (and still do) about my job as a guide. I’ve been on lots of river trips, hunting, fishing and all sorts of stuff dealing with that type of work. Mostly what I remember so many of them are really jumbled up and crazy, but they are fun. Sometimes I wake up and get a good laugh at what I’ve done that night. Then there are the other type of dreams.
I’ve been deployed to Bosnia/Croatia, Kosovo and Iraq with the army. After the deployments my dreams changed my life. Some of my dreams have become rather graphic. After a couple times of waking up and finding myself on my knees punching my pillow out, which scared the bejeebes out of my wife, she no longer sleeps with me. I’ve killed people and been shot in my dreams. I guess the scariest ones are when I can’t find my weapon. During the times I was deployed, I was married to my weapon. I ate with it, slept with it. It was everywhere I was and I knew where it was all the time, right along with its buddies – ammo. I’ve found myself waking up in the middle of the night, feeling around my bed for my weapon. When deployed, I slept with it, always in the rack with me. The other thing that scares the crap out of me in my dreams is I can’t make a decision. On my deployments I was in many leadership positions and required to make decisions all the time, sometimes decisions were tough to make because if things went wrong, well there was a high price to pay.
Dreams – I guess there are a lot of people out there who can tell me what all this means and what it means to my life. One thing about dreams, when I wake up in the mornings, a fresh day has started. Time to have a fresh cup of coffee, enjoy the sunrise, thank God I’m able to get my pants on and enjoy another day.